5 reasons to forgive when you can't forget (2023)

FAQs

Why you should forgive but not forget? ›

Forgiveness is essential for one's emotional well-being

Holding onto these negative emotions can have dire consequences like irritability, physical illnesses, poor mental health, etc. When you forgive but don't forget, your emotional well-being is impacted positively since you move past those negative feelings.

Forgiving is Not Forgetting

What a relief! You can forgive someone for their offenses against you even if you can't forget. It seems flippant to tell someone to just forgive and let it go when emotional and/or physical trauma has been experienced by the hand of another person.

Forgiving helps you move forward on your spiritual path.

Forgiveness encourages compassion. You are able to relate to others as part of the human experience. You feel for others as you do for yourself. Emotionally and psychologically unencumbered, you can begin to put the past behind you.

Forgiveness can lead to: Healthier relationships. Improved mental health. Less anxiety, stress and hostility.

Second, God did not design us to forgive and forget, for then we hope in vain the pain will go away, and it doesn't. At best, we learn to live with the pain. He designed us to forgive, and then let Christ come into our lives, and heal us of the pain and wounds we experienced.

The three types of forgiveness are: exoneration, forbearance and release. Let's take each in turn. Exoneration is the closest to what we usually think of when we say “forgiveness”.

DEU 9:7 Remember, do not forget how you provoked the Lord your God to wrath in the wilderness; from the day that you left the land of Egypt until you arrived at this place, you have been rebellious against the Lord.

What does the Bible say about forgiveness and letting go? ›

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

Forgiveness without forgetting means you let go of your emotions of anger and bitterness, yet you remember that your friend was untrustworthy. You may or may not decide to reconcile with that person. You may also be cautious when letting new friends into your life to prevent the same thing from happening again.

Worthington has distilled the REACH plan: Recall the hurt; Empathize with the one who hurt you; Altruistically decide to forgive; Commit publicly to forgiveness; and Hold on to that forgiveness.

Why should we forgive? The Stanford Forgiveness Project has shown that learning to forgive lessens the amount of hurt, anger, stress and depression that people experience. People who forgive also become more hopeful, optimistic and compassionate and have enhanced conflict resolution skills.

The #1 reason why we should forgive others is simply because God forgave us. He is so full of love and ready to forgive when we sincerely ask, so we should too. I know most of the time it's far from easy, but the more we condition ourselves spiritually and become closer to the Lord, the easier it becomes.

In fact, because God loves us so much, He sent His one and only Son to die for our sins so that we can have eternal life with Him. It is important to understand that if God had not forgiven us, we could never be saved. Therefore, we ought to forgive others.

The negative consequences of not forgiving has been documented in studies that show that it can lead to emotional pain of anger, hate, hurt, resentment, bitterness and so on and as a consequence can create health issues, affect relationships and stop us from experiencing the freedom that forgiveness enables.

The Lord Jesus explicitly commands us in Scripture that we are to forgive those who have committed offences against us. And he makes no exception even when those offences may be egregious.

How many times should we forgive? ›

That's how many times the Bible tells us we should forgive someone. Matthew 18: 21-22 ²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” ²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Responsibility: Accept what has happened and show yourself compassion. Remorse: Use guilt and remorse as a gateway to positive behaviour change. Restoration: Make amends with whomever you're forgiving, even if it's yourself. Renewal: Learn from the experience and grow as a person.

The four types of forgiveness are Cheap Forgiveness, Refusing to Forgive, Acceptance, and genuine Forgiveness.

There are some things we are told in the Bible to 'forget'. There are other things we are repeatedly called to 'remember'. You can make choices about what you choose to 'forget' and what you choose to 'remember'. The word 'remember' in its various Hebrew and Greek forms occurs over 250 times in the Bible.

What does God say about the past? ›

Our past has changed, because, in God's eyes, we have no past, only a great future. In Jeremiah 29:11, He says: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The word “remember” is used over 1,200 times in the Bible. The word “forget” is used over 300 times. Why are these words used so frequently? It is really pretty simple.

18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

(ʌnfərgɪvɪŋ ) adjective. If you describe someone as unforgiving, you mean that they are unwilling to forgive other people.

The good news: Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.

Anger and forgiveness are partners. In reality, anger and forgiveness work together (and often at the same time) in any real healing process. Though anger and forgiveness may seem to be opposing forces, they are actually completely equal partners in the journey toward healing.

How do you forgive past hurts? ›

People with paranoid personality disorder see threats all around them. They tend to hold grudges, dwelling to the point of obsession over past slights they've experienced. These tendencies keep them from forming lasting and close relationships as hostility and general distrust consume their emotional lives.